adoseoftheosis
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I'm interested in the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18)

I'm an Orthodox Christian who has found a lovely, sparsely populated corner of the internet where Catholics and Orthodox can discuss the apostolic witness in a way befitting a Christian.

Together we'll share ideas, study a variety of things (patristics, Scripture, saints, books, etc.), and pray with/for one another.

Healing has to take place when brokenhearted, separated people spend time together.
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

I’m frustrated with myself because I let myself spiral. I got caught off guard and fell into sin. I don’t know why I’m surprised. It’s my normal MO. I know you’re supposed to stay in humility, that the closer you get to God the less shocked you are when you fall and the less you waste energy on self-loathing. But I still did. I know pride is at the root, and maybe that’s why the Lord keeps letting me fall…because I’d be worse off if I didn’t. I understand that in my head, but I still find myself wondering how long He’s going to keep teaching me this, or how long before I finally get it in my bones. I honestly don’t know what else to do to grow in humility.

Yesterday I tried to go to confession at a parish that was convenient and had posted times. When I got there, a note on the door said it was canceled. That stung, especially because I’d checked the website before leaving. I know the Eucharist isn’t a reward, and I know grace isn’t some on–off switch (state of grace, out of grace, back in again) but I still think that way sometimes. I told myself I’d go to Mass with my family today anyway.

Then the dryer, broken since last week, still wasn’t fixed. I tried to repair it yesterday, got frustrated, and finally just ordered a new one that’s supposed to arrive today. Now we have nothing clean to wear, my family missed Mass, and the day feels like a hot mess. Honestly, part of me just wants to curl up in bed for a few days and let the world keep spinning without me.

I’m tired of being a sinner. And then there’s this other thing; I keep getting the urge to visit an Orthodox liturgy. I can’t explain it. It’s not logical. You know I’ve wrestled with these topics for years. I still believe in the papacy with both feet planted, and I love my Western devotions. The Traditional Latin Mass feels like home. But something in me keeps getting tugged toward the East, and it’s not about arguments or logic. It’s the same quiet voice that fills my lungs when I breathe the Jesus Prayer.

I pray it’s not some temptation meant to confuse me. Maybe it’s not the right time to wrestle with these questions when I’m already so spiritually disoriented. But that circles me back to humility…to just sitting still with God, even in a state of sin, and letting Him love me. And that’s where I get stuck.

My biggest struggle is my relationship with God the Father. I don’t know what that looks like. If I’m honest, I don’t trust Him the way I trust Jesus. A gentle priest told me to sit for a while and say, “Father, I trust in You,” and to remember that to know Jesus is to know the Father. I do trust Jesus. I just don’t trust myself. I don’t know what it’s like to have a father, and I feel like a lousy one myself. Half the time I have no clue what I’m doing with these kids.

So I’ve been leaning into Saint Joseph, asking him to show me. But part of me feels like it’s too late. I want it to be more than an idea. I want it to be something I can touch, something that changes me. For now, I’m just asking you to pray for me, because right now, I really need it.

I need to be patient with God and remember He loves me right here in this moment. I’m the one who runs away. I need to be forgiving and vulnerable with myself, knowing I’m broken, dented machinery, and still keep moving forward. My ideas about what holiness should look like aren’t always the reality.

I have to keep meditating on how, even when my kids have been little terrorists all day, I still look at them sleeping at night with so much love. The Father looks at me the same way, only infinitely deeper, cosmic, and timeless.

I think I need a reset. Saint Michael’s Lent is coming up, and while I don’t think it’s a magic fix or that praying more or doing a consecration will solve everything, I do think setting aside time to cut distractions and focus on my relationship with God matters. It’s not about finding a silver bullet to kill my passions. It’s about tearing up the ground, pulling out the roots, and letting the Holy Spirit plant something new in my garden.

And yet, my biggest temptation is that voice that whispers, “If all of this is true, if the sacraments here are real and efficacious, then why haven’t you changed? You’ve been at this, seriously and not so seriously, for over twenty years, and you’re still the same old sinner. If grace really worked, wouldn’t you be different by now?”

But that voice forgets that grace isn’t a magic trick. It is a slow death and an even slower resurrection. Change is happening in ways I can’t always measure, and God’s timetable is not mine. The fact that I’m still here, still showing up, still reaching for Him instead of walking away, is proof grace is working.

So when that voice comes, I will answer it: I am not who I was, and I am not yet who I will be. And that unfinished work is not evidence against grace—it is the very proof that grace is still at work.

May the Lord give us discernment and save us from this veil of tears, and more importantly, save us from ourselves.

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Happy Palm Sunday! 🌿

This is one of my favorite hymns of the year

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Merry (old calendar) Christmas!

Christ is born! Glorify Him!

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Forgot the scorpion vid 🦂
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Going live on YinzTube here in a bit

If you're free, come hang out!

August 04, 2025

Dear pen pals,
I found “Pigeon mail” in a local bookstore, which is like a little origami style envelope-paper-all in one.
Just fun, thought I’d share. :)

https://pigeonposted.com

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Dust That Remembers:
How Matter Longs, How Memory Glows, How God Gathers

Consciousness is not binary but a spectrum.
Each layer of creation: cells, microbial life, fungi, plants, animals…participates in a distributed awareness appropriate to its form.
The bacteria in my body speak to yours.
Mushrooms communicate through complex underground networks.
Plants can hear, respond, and even remember.

When I die, the matter that formed my body is not meaningless dust.
It carries echoes of my embodied consciousness.
As that matter returns to the earth, feeding fungi, animals, and plants, some dimension of my creaturely awareness continues in them.

This is not reincarnation or pantheism.
It is the recognition that my body, my consciousness, and my experiences were never isolated to begin with.
They were always in communion: microbial, ecological, cosmic.

This continuity across creation does not dissolve personal identity. It transfigures it.
The material is not just used by God. It is remembered by Him.
And in the final resurrection, all those scattered fragments of matter and memory will be...

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What is the Coptic Calendar?

The Coptic calendar is one of the oldest systems still in use today, carrying thousands of years of history and tradition. Rooted in ancient Egyptian timekeeping, it’s been adapted by the Coptic Orthodox Church to mark liturgical seasons, feast days, and the commemoration of saints. Known as the Anno Martyrum (A.M.) calendar, or “Year of the Martyrs,” it’s a unique blend of Egypt’s ancient heritage and the Christian faith, reflecting the Coptic Church’s deep respect for both time and sacrifice.

Origins of the Coptic Calendar: Ancient Egyptian Roots

The origins of the Coptic calendar trace back to the ancient Egyptian civil calendar, which was one of the earliest systems developed to organize time. This calendar, known as the Egyptian solar calendar, was based on a 365-day year, divided into three agricultural seasons: Akhet (the inundation or flood season), Peret (the planting season), and Shemu (the harvest season). Each season had four months, making a total of twelve 30-day months. At the end of the year, five additional “epagomenal” days were added to reach 365 days.

The transition from this ancient Egyptian calendar to the Coptic calendar came about as Christianity spread throughout Egypt. In the year 284 AD, the Copts adopted this calendar system and transformed it into what’s now known as the Anno Martyrum calendar to honor the memory of martyrs persecuted under Emperor Diocletian, whose reign is remembered for its severe persecution of Christians. The year 284 was chosen as the beginning of the Coptic calendar, marking the start of a time that would see thousands of Christians martyred for their faith.

 

 

Structure of the Coptic Calendar: Months and Seasons

The Coptic calendar remains quite similar to its ancient Egyptian predecessor, with a few additions for liturgical purposes:

  • Months: The calendar year is divided into 12 months, each containing exactly 30 days, followed by a “small month” known as Pi Kogi Enavot (or the “Little Month”), which has five days in a common year and six days in a leap year.

  • Names of the Months: Each month has its own name derived from ancient Egyptian, reflecting the agricultural rhythms of the Nile Valley:

    1. Thout
    2. Paopi
    3. Hathor
    4. Kiahk
    5. Tobe
    6. Meshir
    7. Paremhat
    8. Paremoude
    9. Pashons
    10. Paoni
    11. Epip
    12. Mesori

The names reflect the agricultural and seasonal nature of the calendar, linking each month to the ancient Egyptian way of life.

  • The Little Month: At the end of Mesori, there are five or six additional days, known as the “Little Month.” In leap years, it’s extended to six days, aligning the calendar to the solar year.

Liturgical Seasons in the Coptic Calendar

The Coptic calendar is foundational for the liturgical life of the Coptic Orthodox Church, guiding the dates of fasts, feasts, and commemorations. Some of the key liturgical seasons include:

  1. The Season of Advent (Nativity Fast): This fast begins on the 16th of Hathor and continues until the Feast of the Nativity on the 29th of Kiahk (January 7th in the Gregorian calendar). The fast spans 43 days, calling the faithful to a period of preparation and spiritual reflection before Christmas.

  2. The Season of Great Lent: The dates for Lent vary each year, but the season traditionally falls around the month of Meshir, leading up to the Feast of the Resurrection, or Easter.

  3. Kiahk: Known as the “Month of Praise,” Kiahk is dedicated to preparations for the birth of Christ. Churches hold special services featuring hymns, praises, and the unique melodies of the Coptic heritage, inviting the faithful into a deeper sense of anticipation for the Nativity.

  4. Holy Week (Pascha): Holy Week, or Pascha, is the most sacred time of the year in the Coptic Church. The dates are determined by the Coptic calendar and fall near the months of Paremhat or Paremoude. It’s a week of intense fasting, prayer, and reflection on the events of Christ’s Passion, culminating in the celebration of the Resurrection.

  5. The Fast of the Apostles: This fast honors the early apostles of the Church, beginning the day after Pentecost (the Feast of the Descent of the Holy Spirit) and lasting until the Feast of St. Peter and St. Paul on the 5th of Epip.

Major Feasts and Commemorations

The Coptic calendar is punctuated with major feasts, some of which align with the broader Christian calendar, while others are unique to the Coptic tradition:

  1. The Feast of Nayrouz: This is the Coptic New Year, celebrated on the first day of Thout (around September 11 or 12 in the Gregorian calendar). The Feast of Nayrouz is not only the start of the Coptic year but also a commemoration of the martyrs who gave their lives for their faith, especially during the era of Diocletian. It’s a day of both celebration and solemn remembrance.

  2. Feast of the Nativity: Celebrated on 29 Kiahk, the Coptic Christmas on January 7th, this feast marks the birth of Jesus Christ. Copts prepare with fasting, special prayers, and a midnight liturgy to celebrate the Incarnation.

  3. The Feast of the Resurrection (Easter): Celebrated after the 55-day Great Lent, Easter is the highest feast in the Coptic calendar, commemorating Christ’s victory over death and the hope of salvation for all humanity.

  4. The Feast of the Cross: Celebrated twice a year—on the 17th of Thout and again on the 10th of Paremhat—the Feast of the Cross honors the discovery of the true cross by St. Helena. The cross holds a place of special significance in Coptic spirituality, seen as the ultimate symbol of Christ’s sacrifice and love.

Spiritual Significance of the Coptic Calendar

The Coptic calendar is more than a timekeeping tool; it’s a rhythm of spiritual life. The calendar’s liturgical seasons and feast days help believers journey through the life of Christ, the saints, and the Church’s rich heritage. The saints are honored throughout the year on their feast days, allowing Coptic Christians to connect with those who came before them, especially those who lived and died for their faith.

By structuring life around fasting, feasting, and commemoration, the Coptic calendar fosters a sense of timelessness, anchoring believers in the past, present, and future of their faith. Each day is marked by a saint or event, a reminder that each moment holds a connection to something larger than oneself.

Conclusion: A Timeless Tradition

The Coptic calendar is a testament to the resilience and devotion of the Coptic Orthodox Church. By following the rhythms of this ancient calendar, Copts connect with a tradition that goes back millennia, linking their faith to the legacy of their ancestors and honoring the memory of those who sacrificed for their beliefs. This calendar, grounded in ancient Egypt but redefined by Christian faith, is a profound reminder of God’s presence throughout history and an invitation to live each day with faith, discipline, and gratitude.

 

 

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A Light in Cairo: The Remarkable Apparition of Our Lady of Zeitoun

The Marian apparition known as Our Lady of Zeitoun is one of the most fascinating events in modern Coptic Orthodox history. Unlike many other Marian apparitions, this one didn’t happen in a remote village to a select few. It happened in the bustling city of Cairo, Egypt, and was witnessed by tens of thousands of people over a period of years. The story of Our Lady of Zeitoun brings together mystery, hope, and a sense of wonder that transcends denominational lines, drawing Muslims, Christians, skeptics, and believers alike.

The Setting: Zeitoun, Cairo

The apparition took place in Zeitoun, a district of Cairo known for its strong Coptic Christian community. The site itself was the Coptic Orthodox Church of St. Mary, a humble church that, according to local tradition, stood along the route the Holy Family took during their flight into Egypt. This church, with its distinctive dome and towers, became the focal point for a series of events that would captivate Egypt and the world.

The First Sightings: A Surprising Appearance

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Tasbeha
The Coptic Tradition of Midnight Praises

Often held on Saturday nights before Sunday’s Divine Liturgy, Tasbeha connects worshippers with ancient Christian roots and the monastic tradition, while also sharing resonant elements with other liturgical practices.

The Structure of Tasbeha: A Hymn of Praise

The word Tasbeha itself means “praise,” and it’s not only a title but a purpose. Tasbeha follows a consistent structure that guides worshippers through stages of prayer, each with its own deep meaning and purpose. The service generally begins with the First Hoos, which includes portions from the Song of Moses in Exodus 15, recounting God’s victory over Pharaoh and the salvation of His people. This part of the service calls to mind the power of God in delivering His people from bondage—a theme echoed in the prayers of thanksgiving within Tasbeha.

This continues with the Second Hoos from Psalm 135, known as the “Praise the Lord” psalm, and the Third Hoos, which is the Song of the Three Holy Youths from the book of Daniel. The Third Hoos is particularly beloved because it celebrates God’s protection and steadfastness, recalling the story of the three youths in the fiery furnace. Just as God preserved these saints, Tasbeha reminds worshippers of His enduring faithfulness.

The service moves into the Fourth Hoos, which incorporates various Psalms. This is followed by the Theotokia—hymns that honor the Virgin Mary. The Theotokia reflects on her unique role in salvation history, as the one who bore God incarnate. Throughout the service, worshippers also chant the Doxologies (prayers of glorification) and conclude with hymns in praise of Christ, celebrating His role as Redeemer and Lord.

Roots in Scripture and Monasticism

Tasbeha has deep scriptural roots, as shown in the themes drawn from Exodus, Psalms, and Daniel. This focus on scripture reflects a shared reverence for holy texts seen across Orthodox Christian and Jewish traditions. Much like Jewish synagogue services, which feature psalms and scripture readings central to worship, Tasbeha takes scriptural passages and reimagines them as songs of praise, intended to unite worshippers with the events, heroes, and faith in God represented in these stories.

Tasbeha’s current form developed largely within the monastic tradition, beginning as an extension of the monastic hours and particularly the Midnight Hour. Monastics in the deserts of Egypt would gather for all-night vigils, chanting Psalms and hymns as a means of continual praise. In this way, Tasbeha embodies the spirit of monasticism within parish life, calling each worshipper to a practice of prayer, praise, and meditation on God’s works.

Hymns and Chants: Elevating the Heart

Central to Tasbeha is its music—a tapestry of hymns and chants performed in the traditional Coptic language. The hymns are not simply sung; they are carefully chanted, often with complex melodies that create an atmosphere of reverence and awe. The melodies are slow, repetitive, and contemplative, inviting worshippers to meditate deeply on the words. This practice shares similarities with other forms of Orthodox and even Jewish worship, where chant serves to elevate the words, creating a spiritual experience that transcends ordinary speech.

A unique aspect of Coptic chant is its varied tempo. Some hymns are slow and solemn, while others, especially those toward the end of Tasbeha, are faster and more jubilant. The idea is to progress from contemplation to celebration, as if the soul is being lifted through different stages of joy in God’s presence. This pattern reflects the journey from preparation to union with God—a concept familiar in other liturgical traditions but expressed uniquely in the rhythm and style of Coptic music.

The Role of the Congregation: Participation in Praise

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